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Dragonball Evolution: Z Edition
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (26th August 2009). |
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The Film
 Hahahahaha. Oh, that Fox is a funny studio. I mean, anyone who would pay millions of dollars to finance a big-screen practical joke deserves some kudos. Wait… what’s that? This isn’t a joke. Someone made this film, like, seriously? Well, I can’t believe that because anyone responsible for something as banal and insipid as “Dragonball Evolution” obviously has it out for audiences across the world. The goal here must have been to not only rob viewers of their money, but also to waste the time of countless day laborers, costume designers, construction workers, actors… well, you get where I’m going. It isn’t often that I can safely proclaim a film I’m watching is the worst I’ve seen in a decade. This, however, may be one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my life. Not even the better-than-average fight scenes can save a single other aspect of this film from being totally, utterly and insufferably bad. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that it was only 85 minutes. This film is about two-dimensional characters, led by the laughably bad Goku (Justin Chatwin), on a quest to find some magic balls, or something like that. Along the way Chow Yun-Fat shows up to tarnish his, until now, impressive reputation. There also a clichéd love interest for Goku in the form of Chi Chi (Jamie Chung). People fight, battles begin and end as one might expect… I’m sorry I can’t get more specific with the plot points, but I think my brain is attempting to block my memory of having seen this film just as an abuse victim might build a mental wall to block their own trauma. Viewers beware indeed. What, prey tell, makes this film so unwatchable? Just about everything, really. I knew I was in for trouble when the opening scene, set on a farm, was obviously all green-screen effects work. Seriously, they couldn’t film on a real farm? Was that just too difficult or expensive? I could have let things like that go except for the fact that it’s so obvious we aren’t even at real locations half the time. The computer-generated backgrounds are mediocre at best, just as the rest of the effects work is. I can’t see anyone over the age of 9 giving this kind of shoddy work a pass. Although, I also can’t see anyone over the age of 9 even entertaining the idea of watching the film were they to see the trailer beforehand. I kept thinking that I knew leading man Justin Chatwin from somewhere, and that I really disliked him. Then I checked his IMDB page and was reminded that he played Tom Cruise’s son in Steven Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds” (2005). You know the character that rightfully should have died and, yet, he magically appears at the end, producing one of the most groan-inducing endings in Spielberg’s career? Yep, that made me hate him. His acting here is similarly atrocious. Check out his inability to cry when his grandpa dies. Not that I expected him to emote any more than a mannequin at a department store, but, seriously, he’s terrible. I’ll give the film credit for some well-choreographed fight scenes. The early fight between Goku and some school bullies is pretty awesome. I suppose that even if the film is a total waste in every possible sense of the word, at least we get something to keep us entertained. I don’t recall how popular the cartoon series, “Dragonball Z” (1989-2003), was; though I’m guessing it had enough of a following to warrant this film. The movie does play exactly like a Japanese cartoon might, so fans of the show will probably enjoy the film. Maybe. I’m not sure how well it was received by fans, but it did considerably more business overseas at the box office than here in the States (about $9m domestic vs. $48m foreign). But, to be fair, the Japanese do love really off-beat, weird films, so maybe this turgid turd was right up their alley.
Video
Just as I might have expected… the worst films always seem to have the best transfers. “Dragonball Evolution” arrives on a 50GB dual-layer Blu-ray with a beautiful 2.40:1 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encoded transfer, looking far better than it has any right to. Colors look rich and lush, and with a bevy of costumes on display there is ample opportunity for the screen to be flooded in all shades of the rainbow. Black levels look rich and deep, never purple or blocky. Grain is minimal and never obtrusive, though some night scenes are a little heavier than others. Whites did appear a bit on the hot side, especially during the opening on the farm, but they seem to mellow out as the film progresses. The detail here is sharp, razor sharp. In fact it may be too sharp because at times the previously-mentioned horrendous green-screen effects work is even more apparent. But that gripe aside, this is a damn fine visual feast for such a lackluster feature.
Audio
The English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound track mixed at 48kHz/24-bit is very good, though I didn’t find it to be quite as impressive as the video quality. Surrounds don’t do a whole lot aside from providing some ambient filler, but the LFE track does get some good opportunities to spring to life, especially during the film’s fight scenes. Dialogue, every trite word of it, is discernible and clear. Also included are Spanish, French and Portuguese Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound tracks. Subtitles are available in English for the hearing impaired, Spanish, Portuguese, Cantonese and Mandarin.
Extras
Being given far more than it deserves, “Dragonball Evolution” arrives as the “Z Edition” sporting featurettes, an interactive feature, deleted scenes, a music video, gag reel, bonus trailers and a digital copy for portable media devices. DISC ONE: “Goku’s Quest Game” is an interactive feature exclusive to this Blu-ray that, when activated, allows viewers to access behind-the-scenes information when pressing “Enter” anytime a Dragonball appears on the screen. There are 8 deleted scenes available for the following: - “Goku Learns About Ki” runs for 1 minute and 20 seconds. Grandpa teaches Goku about his really cool powers. - “Goku Lifts a Car” runs for 1 minute and 22 seconds. Guess what happens? - “Goku Meets Bulma” runs for 1 minute and 16 seconds. More talk between the two characters that we didn’t need. - “Goku Sees His Birthday Cake” runs for 32 seconds. He just let it go to waste. Grandpa was sad. - “Extended Montage to Stone Temple/Stone Temple Snack Bar” runs for 1 minute and 56 seconds. Nothing about this film should be extended. - “Extended Fulums” runs for 1 minute and 43 seconds. More fighting in the lava pit. - “Extended Sifu Norris/Roshi” runs for 2 minutes. Some extra dialogue between the two. - “Mai Dies by Stabbing” runs for 57 seconds. Mai dies by being eaten by a rabid warthog. No, sorry, I’m only kidding. She gets stabbed. “Goku’s Workout” is a featurette which runs for 4 minutes and 50 seconds. A couple of mega-douchey guys who were part of the film’s fight choreography team show viewers how to fight like the characters do in the film. Dig the crappy green-screen behind them as they pose and flex. “Fox Movie Channel Presents: Making a Scene” is a featurette which runs for 9 minutes and 27 seconds. This behind-the-scenes piece takes a look at one of the film’s key fight scenes featuring Jamie Chung. We see her rehearsing for the scene and then watch the actual shooting of it. “Fox Movie Channel Presents: Life After Film School with Justin Chatwin” is a featurette which runs for 24 minutes and 57 seconds. The film’s star sits down in this special with three film school students who question him on his career in show business. This is far more interesting than anything else found on this disc. A music video for Brian Anthony’s “Worked Up” runs for 3 minutes and 21 seconds. The gag reel is next and runs for 2 minutes and 23 seconds. Finally, though not selectable form the main menu, the disc begins with the following bonus trailers: - “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” runs for 2 minutes and 16 seconds. - “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li” runs for 1 minute and 7 seconds. - “The Pink Panther 2” runs for 1 minute and 59 seconds. DISC TWO: This is a digital copy of the film for use with portable media devices, presumably so you can watch the film while taking a dump in some seedy public restroom in an attempt to determine which stinks worse.
Overall
Fans (possibly) aside, I can’t imagine who in their right mind would spend any money on this Blu-ray, no matter how good it may look.
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