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Bride Wars
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (25th September 2009). |
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The Film
 In*suf"fer*a*ble, a. 1. Incapable of being suffered, borne, or endured; insupportable; unendurable; intolerable; as, insufferable heat, cold, or pain; insufferable wrongs. Locke. 2. Offensive beyond endurance; detestable. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, maybe it’s because I don’t quite understand women, or maybe it’s because I require, at the least, that my cinema be tolerable, but “Bride Wars” (2009) is undoubtedly one of the most insufferable films I have ever sat through. I know that I’m not the target demographic; no one with a penis is. This is a film made entirely for women. Well, at least for those of them who are vapid enough to get any kind of enjoyment from a film overwrought with clichés and gaping plot holes. As a man I found the film to be offensively bad on almost every level. The film’s two leads are atrocious, the plot is incredibly boring and every single joke falls flat. I honestly feel bad for anyone who thinks this passes as good cinema, or even enjoyable cinema. This is cotton candy cinema, all fluff and no substance. Best friends Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) have dreamed of getting married in June at the famed Plaza Hotel in New York since they were kids. They both get engaged within the same week (omg), and decide to book their weddings with famed planner Marion St. Claire (Candice Bergen). Unfortunately, Marion’s assistant screws up and books them both on the same day (OMG!). The two girls then become bitter rivals as they each try to get the other to abandon the date through a series of lame pranks (OMG!!!!). Will they reconcile at the end? Do you really have to ask? The loins of Kurt Russell sprung forth who? I have honestly never seen a film of Kate Hudson’s before, and this is a good indication of why. Well, scratch that. I have seen “Almost Famous” (2000), but that obviously wasn’t a starring vehicle for her like this film. She is painfully unfunny, which makes the fact that she’s mostly known for romantic comedies all the more puzzling. She’s no Goldie Hawn, that’s for sure. She’s one of those actors who you can always tell is acting. You know, the kind who doesn’t seamlessly blend into their roles and they end up looking like themselves reading lines? That’s kinda how Hudson acts. There’s no soul to her performance; just a blasé interpretation of the archetypal working woman. Faring no better is Anne Hathaway. Again, I haven’t seen her play the lead in anything but I’ve always found her to be kid of creepy looking. You remember that Soundgarden video for “Black Hole Sun” where everyone’s face is slightly stretched and clown-like? That’s what I’m reminded of anytime I look at her face. This isn’t to say that I dismiss her acting purely because of her distorted looks but she also isn’t a very good actress. Much like Hudson, she just seems to be going through the motions. I’m sure most women and brides-to-be will eat this film up. Actually, of course they will. I’m willing to bet the exit polls from theaters when this was released would have shown that over 75% of the audience was female. And we all know full well that the 25% of men who attended were dragged there by one of the 75% of the females. There just isn’t any enjoyment to mine from a picture so devoid of anything resembling amusement or wit. At the best, it might make for some lazy Sunday viewing for a group of undiscerning housewives. At the worst, the film makes women appear to all be catty and childish, while managing to insult the intelligence of anyone who dares to watch it.
Video
Consider me unimpressed by the film’s 1.85:1 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encoded transfer. The image was surprisingly soft, though that may have been an artistic intention. I found the white levels to be a little on the hot side, bathing the picture in a soft glow. Color reproduction and skin tones seemed to be natural and accurate, but there’s nothing to make the image stand out. The New York City locations even managed to look drab and uninspired, a shame considering the amazing sights and shots available in that city. There is almost no dimensionality to the image; everything just appears flat and lifeless, much like the script. The image does have some good clarity and fine detail, but nothing you wouldn’t already come to expect from a high-definition transfer.
Audio
The English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound track mixed at 48kHz/24-bit track came through loud and clear, but there’s virtually nothing to crow about. Aside from the generic score pumping out at a high level, this is a catty film filled with women bitching and screaming in surround sound. Rear speakers get little to do, aside from some moments of typical filler. The LFE track is pretty much dead in the water until the bachelorette party kicks with some deep bass. There are also French and Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound track included. Subtitles are available for English for the hearing impaired, Spanish, Portuguese, Cantonese, Mandarin and Korean.
Extras
Fox has been taking a cue from Disney lately by including a variety of format flavors in their Blu-ray offerings. “Bride Wars” receives a rather substantial 3-disc package consisting of this Blu-ray disc, a DVD copy and a digital copy. Bonus features include a trivia track, several featurettes, deleted scenes, improvisation clips, and bonus trailers. DISC ONE: “Something Old, Something New and What That’s Gonna Cost You” is a trivia track which runs throughout the film, providing the viewer with information on the cost of items and dropping little nuggets of information on the film. There are 7 deleted scenes available to watch individually or with the “play all” option for the following: - “Alternate Opening” runs for 1 minute and 14 seconds, Marion St. Claire talks about her new book. - “Nate & Liv in Central Park” runs for 54 seconds, the two talk about the wedding. - “Class Project” runs for 53 seconds, Emma works with her students. - “Pregnancy Phone Tree” runs for 39 seconds, Live spreads another rumor. - “One-Two Punch” runs for 1 minute and 8 seconds, more of Emma’s bad tan job. - “Blue Hair & Bedazzler” runs for 1 minute and 44 seconds, more of the pranks between the two girls. - “Liv Finds Bedazzled Dress” runs for 56 seconds, Liv finds her ruined dress. There are 2 improvisation clips available for the following: - “Amanda’s Wedding Speech” runs for 1 minute and 18 seconds. - “Liv at Tanhattan” runs for 1 minute and 29 seconds. “Meet Me At the Plaza” is a featurette which runs for 6 minutes and 47 seconds. The film’s actors discuss the film, why they chose to do it and what they liked about the script, plus we talk to some of the hotel’s staff; it’s the usual behind-the-scenes stuff. “The Perfect White Dress” is a featurette which runs for 4 minutes and 37 seconds. This is a discussion of how important a woman’s wedding dress is, and how Vera Wang approaches making her dresses. “In Character with Kate Hudson” featurette is an interview which runs for 2 minutes and 18 seconds. Hudson discusses her character in the film. “In Character with Anne Hathaway” featurette is an interview which runs for 3 minutes and 23 seconds. Hathaway discusses her character in the film. “Man Den” featurette runs for 4 minutes and 13 seconds. The film’s supporting males have some bro bonding time in their “man den”. “Maid of Honor” featurette runs for 4 minutes and 23 seconds. Liv’s Mr. of Honor gives an interview in-character. “Amanda-Cam” featurette runs for 4 minutes and 14 seconds. The drunken bride from the beginning of the film is shown, just as annoying as before. “Fox on Blu-ray” provides bonus trailers for the following: - “Marley & Me” runs for 2 minutes and 29 seconds. - “The Pink Panther 2” runs for 2 minutes. DISC TWO: This is a DVD copy of the film which also contains the deleted scenes and “The Perfect White Dress” featurette. DISC THREE: This is a digital copy of the film for portable media devices.
Overall
Younger women and brides-to-be may have some vague interest in watching a disposable film such as this, but men and viewers with an interest in true cinema will be left wanting to gouge their eyes out with a melon baller.
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