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Donkey X
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray ALL - America - Phase 4 Films Review written by and copyright: Andreas Petersen (25th September 2009). |
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The Film
 Every once in a while life throws you a test. Out of the blue, a challenge arises that you never saw coming, and assuming you rise to the occasion, you never feel the same afterwards. You’ve changed. Today, life threw me my curve ball, and it was called "Donkey X", one of the most flabbergasting and idiotic movies I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. I have to state that I’m fully aware that I am not the audience for this film, but at the same time, there is no excuse for this garbage. Just in case anyone out there decides to only read the first paragraph of my review, let me reiterate: do NOT watch "Donkey X". Still with me? Alright, let me explain. "Donkey X" is a computer animated film based on the legend of Don Quixote, or at least I think. I’m none too versed in the legend itself, so I’m not sure how much of the film ties into it. From what I can tell, the story follows a donkey named Rucio (Luis Posada), and his master Sancho (Andreu Buenafuente). Sancho is friends with Don Quixote (José Luis Gil). They are all sent on some sort of mission to appear before the legendary love of Quixote’s life. At this point, I can divulge no further into the plot of the film as I simply have no idea what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I sat down and watched all 87 minutes of this film attentively, and it was more confusing than "Lost Highway" (1997). Every character in the film had no motive at all when it came to their actions, and someone I thought was a bad guy turns out to be good all along, and vice versa. I have no idea of any better way of explaining the movie. There are characters who interact, I just have no idea who they are or why they are doing the things they are. But the problems certainly don’t stop there. Beyond the incomprehensible writing, I’m going to call a spade a spade here. "Donkey X" is a cheap rip off of the movie "Shrek" (2001). Rucio’s likeness and attitude are a blatant rip off of Donkey from "Shrek", and even goes as far to say “I have a donkey friend who hangs out with a green ogre”. While some may see this as a clever nod, I see it as the filmmakers covering their tracks, thinking that dropping the hint will throw people off their tracks. But it doesn’t stop at Rucio. The whole film’s vibe is very Shrek-like, but offers not even a single iota of clever humor. A princess acts like a valley girl, modern music is implemented (Cyndi Lauper and Pat Benatar, why would you betray me like this?), and other such motifs. Also, I can’t ignore the lion who looks suspiciously like Alex from "Madagascar" (2005), and some jokes that seem to have been lifted directly out of "Kung Fu Panda" (2008). There’s something satisfying about seeing Dreamworks animated films being ripped off by another company, as I’ve accused them of riding Pixar’s coattails around almost every corner, but I don’t care at all, this movie was just torture to watch. The only (and I mean only) thing this movie had going for it, was its interesting implementation of 2D matt paintings used as backgrounds. Some scenes in the film looked utterly beautiful, especially a dream sequence involving giants that happens near the middle of the film. But this is hardly a redeeming feature in any regard. Every other aspect of the film’s production feels sloppy, and has “senior project” written all over it. Finally, when it comes to kids movies, I have to say, the worse a movie is, the more offended I am. Time and time again we are shown the children’s entertainment doesn’t need to play to the lowest common denominator. It’s insulting to anyone, no matter their age, to assume that trash like "Donkey X" would entertain them. For the love of God, buy your kid "A Bug’s Life" (1998) instead.
Video
"Donkey X" is presented in an HD 1080p 24/fps 2.40:1 aspect ratio picture mastered in AVC MPEG-4 compression, and strangely enough, the quality is superb. The transfer is near perfect, as there is never a blemish or a blur that seems out of place, and I was shocked to see such care taken to the visual aspect of the film, all the while the rest of it is trash. Even though Blu-ray is the perfect medium for all animated features, I was still shocked with how good the picture was. I would even go as far to compare it to a Pixar release, as long as I’m speaking about picture quality strictly.
Audio
"Donkey X" is presented in an English DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 surround track mixed at 48kHz/16-bit, also in French DTS 5.1 and Spanish DTS 2.0 surround options, with optional English and Spanish subtitles. While so much care seemed to have been taken towards the visual aspect of the disc, the same surely cannot be said about the audio aspect. This track drowns out entire lines of dialogue behind music that is far too loud. Also, the movement around the speakers itself is hardly interesting, and the sound that does come out isn’t entirely there. Many of the sound effects sound just as cheap as the jokes in the film.
Extras
Nothing but a theatrical trailer for the film, which runs for 1 minute and 47 seconds, and a few start-up bonus trailers for: - "Where is Winkey’s Horse" which runs for 2 minutes and 21 seconds. - "Dragon Hunters" which runs for 1 minute and 2 seconds> - "The Prodigy" which runs for 1 minute and 34 seconds. - "Outlaw Trail" which runs for 3 minutes and 38 seconds.
Overall
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