|
|
 |
Sharktopus
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Starz / Anchor Bay Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (21st April 2011). |
|
The Film
 If there’s ever been a man capable of pulling off some of the most ridiculous & absurd films in the history of cinema, it’s Roger Corman. The one-man film studio has been pumping out low-budget thrillers since the mid-1950's, and with over 400 credits to his name (and growing) he’s showing no signs of slowing. So, if you’re an amateur filmmaker with a completely preposterous idea – essentially nothing more than a semi-catchy title – who else would be the first guy you turn to BUT Corman? The man is famous for giving the green light to pictures based solely on an attention-grabbing marquee title. Surely, this is something that director Declan O’Brien was familiar with. Sure, he could have brought his brainchild to any major studio, but they likely would have tried to involve too many high-profile directors looking to snatch his baby away. O’Brien needed someone who could seem his vision come to fruition – a man who would be able to afford him all the creative freedom he’d need to unleash his personal “Citizen Kane” (1941) on the world. After rebuffing his offer at first, Corman was eventually persuaded to come on board the project, and the greatest film ever produced by the Sy-Fy Channel was born: “Sharktopus” (2010)! Does plot even matter here? It’s a movie about a half-shark/half-octopus that terrorizes people up and down the coast of Southern California. Need more to sell you? How about the acting prowess of one Eric Roberts? I don’t know if he filmed this before or after his stint on fame whore Dr. Drew’s “Celebrity Rehab” (2008-2011) program, but I’d think Roberts would have to be stoned out of his mind (he claimed on the show that marijuana was his drug of choice) to read half of the lines he’s given. My guess is that the producers showed him a paycheck before he even read the script and, judging by the quality of writing (and his line delivery), I’d suspect he read his lines about 7 minutes before shooting. In any event, the Sharktopus, code name S-11, shows up within the first few minutes of the film and from there on out, it’s a non-stop feeding frenzy. I wish I could spend more some time addressing the porn-quality acting on display here, but I’d run on thesis-length if we got that involved. I’ll just say that even though the film would receive an “F” from just about anyone who watches it, no one can deny that it’s chock full of “A”-level entertainment. Classics lines, such as, “There is no such thing as a sharktopus!” just as it eats a man, and “Oh no! Not like this!” while a tentacle slowly ensnares a man who was just discussing terrible ways to die. While from a technical standpoint this was one of the most amateurish productions I’ve seen in eons, I can’t argue with the fact that it’s also one of the most entertaining films I’ve ever seen. I’ll be completely honest in stating that I don’t think I’ve ever made it all the way through any film produced by or for the Sy-Fy Channel. It isn’t because I don’t love cheesy horror films. Hell, I love me some low-budget, smoke & mirrors 70's & 80's schlock just as much as any self-respecting horror fan would. My main gripe with low-budget films these days is that they always dump practical FX work in favor of truly awful CGI creatures. I’ll take something that looks like it came out of a 14-year-old FX artist’s basement over a sloppy, poorly rendered computer beast any day of the week. But this is Roger Corman we’re talking about. The man is famous (infamous?) for frequently using old sets, redressing them and shooting a new picture on them. He’s the king of penny-pinching producers, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that he favors cheaply-done CGI in lieu of a man-in-suit rubber creature. It costs less to create something digitally than it does to have someone make something that needs to be camera-ready. I understand the Corman model, but I think he strays too far from his own shoestring roots when his titular creatures look like something whipped up in 20 minutes on a personal computer. Can you imagine some of his biggest hits had they not featured practical, real-world FX work? I’m of the opinion that once you lose that tangible quality to your beasts, you’ve lost your audience. The film can never be anything more than a joke because it looks like nobody took it seriously. With latex and foam, it can be forgiven since audiences can at least shrug it off as a burgeoning artist giving it the old college try, but churning out something with sub-par computer work just reeks of cheap & lazy. Speaking of which, let’s talk about our eponymous villainous ocean-dweller, the Sharktopus. On paper, this sounded like a surefire winner. Hell, who am I kidding? Even on film, it looks like a winner. Combining two of the coolest creatures that roam the sea? Cha-ching! Don’t even attempt to make sense of the science behind it all, though. For one thing, Sharktopus swims with its tentacles. Octopi, however, swim using a siphon under the head, not their tentacles, which have no means of propulsion whatsoever. So how this thing is moving is a mystery of God & science. I think its most egregious offense is its size. You see, Sharktopus has been blessed with the unnatural ability to change size depending on what it’s attacking. If it’s taking down a yacht, it’s equal in size and mass. But if it needs to be eating a smaller vessel, or a person, then the size drastically reduces to be commensurate with its food of choice. Simply fascinating. The film’s climax has the creature walking (!) on its tentacles, out of water, while it attacks our main heroes. How it’s breathing is a mystery to everyone other than Sharktopus. But you aren’t supposed to think about these things. The sheer strain of trying to wrap your brain around it might induce a “Scanners”-like explosion that would annihilate your cranium. Best to just sit back, crack open a beer, light up a joint, and let the cosmic powers of “Sharktopus” work their magic. This Blu-ray release of “Sharktopus” isn’t rated, but don’t think that means you’re in for anything noteworthy. I was upset to see that staples of Corman’s production, like blood & boobs, were in short supply. Aside from some revealing bikini tops, we don’t see any boobs other than the people who chose to act in this film. And 95% of the blood is all CGI, and it looks bad. Honestly, if it weren’t for Corman’s name on the packaging, and his brief cameo as an unkempt beach bum (which is pretty damn funny) then you’d never know he was behind it all. I’m sure most of you would’ve figured as much since this is a Sy-Fy Pictures original and all, but I needed to make mention lest anyone think that this Blu-ray might include something they couldn’t have shown on TV. I gave the film an overall "D" rating but the entertainment value is a solid “A”.
Video
You’ll find it hard to believe these specs, but it’s true. The film’s 1.78:1 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encoded image might hold the dubious distinction of being among the worst-looking images I’ve ever seen in high definition. I almost feel like I need to put high definition in quotes because it’s about as far-removed from anything highly defined as I can remember seeing. Now, to be completely fair to the film, there were some moments that weren’t completely deplorable. Since this was obviously shot in HD, there are bound to be some shots that aren’t offensively bad. Luckily, most of the action takes place on or near beaches, so there are plenty of shots where the ocean vistas look solid. Warm, sunny colors are used throughout, and while they don’t exactly pop off the screen, they help a great deal with making the image look more lively and bright. Skin tones and facial close-ups reveal a moderate amount of detail that looks typical for a Sy-Fy Channel original feature. It’s probably right on that line that separates true high definition from an upconverted source transfer. Now, onto the bad… and there’s plenty of it. I think the worst offender has got to be the scattered shots of frozen grain that make the image look like it’s got a screen door in front of it. It’s one helluva eyesore. Another major problem is that a lot of scenes are shot in front of a green screen, and it’s painfully obvious. The actors look completely out of place during these scenes, making it all the more obvious they were standing in a studio somewhere, not on the beach. Sharktopus itself is a CGI character that would look more at home in a cheap insurance commercial than headlining an actual feature film. Dilated Pixels, the company who did the FX work, should have at least tried to blend it into the film rather than having the creature look like it just got a coat of wax applied. Otherwise, the image suffers the usual calamities of a low-budget affair – soft shots, a lack of good, solid details and definition, poor black levels. But, really, did you expect much more from this movie? In some ways, it adds to the charm.
Audio
The film’s English Dolby TrueHD 5.1 surround sound track mixed at 48 kHz/24-bit was a bit more impressive, proving that audio can still be pulled off with good results on cheapo pictures like this. It’s not brimming with dynamic sound cues or anything, but there’s definitely some work for the rear speakers to do. Mostly just filler sounds, but it does lend the picture a slightly more theatrical feel. Machine gun fire packs a decent wallop, even though it sounds completely artificial. I’m happy to report every line of cringe-worthy dialogue is front and center, so you’ll get to hear all of Eric Roberts’ best unintentional humor with great clarity. One thing I liked is that not much time is wasted in this flick. Sharktopus shows up right off the bat and spends the entire time terrorizing everyone in sight, so there’s action aplenty. While the film never had a chance of reaching the audio levels of a Hollywood feature, it doesn’t sound half bad for a direct-to-TV low-budget creature feature. Subtitles are available in English for the hearing impaired and Spanish.
Extras
Can someone explain to me how this masterpiece didn’t receive a full-length making of documentary? I want to see the genesis of “Sharktopus”! Unfortunately, all we’ve got to make due with is a solid audio commentary and the film’s theatrical trailer and bonus trailers. I can only hope one day we’re lucky enough to have Criterion add this instant cult classic to their collection of important films on Blu-ray. The film’s audio commentary with producers Roger Corman and Julie Corman is a great listen. Anytime Roger Corman is speaking about film, you should be listening. He starts off here by saying right off the bat that he thought the idea for “Sharktopus” was “Too insane” and that he initially passed on it because he felt it was too ridiculous. He eventually came back to it, and delivered what was the Sy-Fy Channel’s highest performing film in 8 years. The film’s theatrical trailer (1080p) runs for 2 minutes and 39 seconds. Bonus trailers (1080p) are included for the following releases: - “The Walking Dead” runs for 1 minute and 2 seconds. - “Dinocroc vs. Supergator” runs for 1 minute and 19 seconds. - “Roger Corman’s Cult Classics promo” runs for 2 minutes and 7 seconds. - “Cyclops” runs for 2 minutes and 15 seconds.
Packaging
A single disc in an eco-case, but the cover art alone should catch enough eyes to help it fly off shelves. Just look at it!
Overall
This is one of those films that will have you scrambling for the remote to eject the disc if you’re watching it alone. A movie like this requires the buddy system, or a party full of raucous drinkers who want to be endlessly entertained. I wish they’d used something more practical to create the beast, but I also understand the limitations of using prosthetics and rubber when you want the flexibility to allow more movement to the character. If you can get past the bad CGI (which isn’t easy) then you should be able to get sucked into this vortex of awesomely bad moviemaking. ----------------------- Support us by purchasing this disc online at Bluraysforeveryone.com, they specialize in store exclusives and limited editions both new and used, plus have a wide range of new releases and catalogue titles. Join their reward program and earn points towards your purchases. Best of all for overseas customers they are customs friendly and offer great cost-saving shipping options. Check them out for some cool limited editions. 
|
|||||
|