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Parental Guidance
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (22nd July 2014). |
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The Film
 Maybe this is some sort of sentimental pap, but there’s a twinge of sadness in seeing once-popular comedic stars pushed aside for a new generation to entertain audiences. That isn’t to say there is a dearth of new blood just as capable of making filmgoers roar with laughter, however, most of today’s top comedic draws tend to rely on absurdist humor, not the kind of sharp, shrewd writing that propelled the all-time greats to the top. For a while, one of those top draw comedians was Billy Crystal, a man whose quick-witted retorts and self-deprecating humor made him one of Hollywood’s golden boys. After stealing scenes in some prime 80's hits (most notably 1987’s “The Princess Bride”), Crystal took on leading man duties, acting in a number of successful films in the 90's before taking a complete break from acting in front of the camera following “Analyze That” in 2002. A string of voice acting jobs kept him busy in the interim – successful jobs, too, like Pixar’s mega hit “Monsters, Inc.” (2001) – but it wouldn’t be until 2012, a full decade after his last live-action role, that he stepped back in front of the cameras for “Parental Guidance”. Now in his 60's, Crystal’s role has shifted from leading man to leading grandfather, which, in some ways, opens him up to a new angle on his typical shtick. Old folk jokes are low-hanging comedic fruit, and Crystal is from an era where they pick from the top of the tree or the ground; the best joke is the one you can write the quickest. It’s an approach that works some of the time, falls flat on its face others. “Parental Guidance” gets off to a shaky start, with much of the humor coming across like an old cantankerous senior citizen who tries (and admirably fails) to make light of today’s youth and their modern technological conveniences. The anticipation of waiting for a “You know, back in my day…” is crippling. It’s comedy operating on a basic level, pointing out the obvious differences between generations and assuming that’ll be enough to satisfy an audience. Truthfully, the film feels like a slog up until the halfway point, when a change in dynamics manages to commendably drag the remainder of the picture up to a better (though still not great) level of comedy. Artie Decker (Billy Crystal) is the voice of the Fresno Grizzlies, a minor league baseball team operating out of California. Well, at least he was the voice of the team, until he got unceremoniously dumped due to his inability to keep up with current tech trends and social media. Just as he’s about to settle in to a deep depression, his daughter, Alice (Marisa Tomei), calls to ask if he and his wife, Diane (Bette Midler), could come to her home in Atlanta to watch their kids. Alice’s husband Phil (Tom Everett Scott) is leaving to collect an award for his whole home tech product, dubbed R-Life, and he and Alice want to get away for a few days. Since he’s got nothing else to do, Artie flies to Atlanta with Diane, figuring this will give them the chance to reconnect with their three grandkids. Artie and Alice have long had a strained relationship, and the two parties see this as a chance to mend things a bit. The problem, however, is that Alice & Phil are your typical laissez-faire, over-nurturing helicopter parents, incapable of trusting their coddled children in the care of anyone. As a result, all three of them – Harper (Bailee Madison), Turner (Joshua Rush) and Barker (Kyle Harrison Breitkopf) – have a lot of growing up to do. Initially, Artie (who has been dubbed “Farty” by the kids) is heavily stifled in his attempts to connect with his grandkids. Diane is too, for that matter, all because Alice lets Phil leave ahead of time so she can catch up with him later. Her constant monitoring and adherence to new-school parenting styles drives Artie and Diane crazy, until finally Artie has had enough and he takes Alice straight to the airport. From there, the film unfolds in an expected fashion, with Artie and his old-school, toughen-up style of parenting opening up each of the kids’ eyes and helping them to make some headway in becoming independent. Of course, he screws up plenty along the way, giving the film many moments of comedic fodder. Once Alice & Phil finally return – early, due to one of Artie’s mishaps with Barker making news coverage – they not only learn the kids have grown in ways they weren’t allowing, but they also… wait for it… learn how to be better parents. Just makes you all mushy inside, right? Crystal is unquestionably the film’s highlight, injecting all of the humor to keep it afloat. Midler is no slouch, but her comedic chops don’t come close to Billy’s. Still, the film feels a little disjointed and bogged down by too many subplots, mainly those involving the kids. One major miss was not playing up Artie’s lack of technological prowess, which was the impetus for his firing in the opening. He’s sent to his daughter’s home in Atlanta, which is entirely voice-controlled with an A.I. running every aspect of operations. You’d think this would be a comedy goldmine, since Artie knows nothing about tech. Instead, we get a couple cliché gags involving a toaster, television mishaps and that’s about it. Considering how invasive the R-Life system is, it’s bizarre the film never really exploits its abilities. As the deleted scenes section proves, a lot of footage was cut out of the final film, and it can be painfully obvious where those cuts took place. Scatological humor is on or near the lowest rung of comedy, yet there never really comes a time in one’s life where it isn’t at least marginally funny. You are never too old to laugh at farts. Crystal’s best moment here comes in the form of a catchy little ditty that will be ingrained in your memory whenever you sit upon the porcelain altar. “Come out, come out Mr. Doody…” According to lore, this was a song Bill Murray used to sing to his own son when trying to help him release a fibrous beast. Here, Crystal sings it to Barker when he’s forced to use a (ridiculously filthy) public restroom. “Parental Guidance” is about as harmless and lukewarm as comedy can be, though there are still some moments that make it truly fun. The end result of Artie & Diane’s visit can be telegraphed from a million miles away, so viewers can only hope the journey to get there is worth it. Once Alice decides to exit the picture and hand over the reins to Artie & Diane, that’s when the film picks up some steam and cuts loose. But up until that point, it feels like an interminable chore that will never rise above a steaming pile of dung. There are good actors doing admirable work here – and all of the kids are surprisingly well-acted and not entirely annoying – but this film lives and dies on the shoulders of Billy Crystal, who proves that sometimes a turd can be shined just enough to make it glow.
Video
The 1.85:1 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encode is about on par with an average high definition transfer, nothing more nothing less. Detail is often unremarkable in all but close-up shots, which can likely be blamed on the photography since Fox typically delivers the goods on their Blu-ray releases with little tampering. Grain is consistent due to being shot on 35mm, and it occasionally spikes in a handful of interior shots. Contrast is mostly strong, with only a couple of scenes losing image quality due to oppressive shadows. Black levels are consistently dark and smooth. There’s some vintage World Series footage in the film that looks to have been cleaned up quite a bit to seamlessly integrate itself into the picture. Colors appear natural and faithfully reproduced. There’s not much to crow about here, but there’s also little to complain about, too. It’s simply a middle of the road picture for a middle of the road comedy.
Audio
Comedies have never been noted for their strong audio experience, and the English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound track (48kHz/24-bit) provided here is no exception to that rule. Dialogue finds a nice balance among light underscoring and sound effects, coming through the center channel discreetly and clearly. Composer Marc Shaiman’s score is virtually invisible, popping in only when Crystal and the kids are engaging in some zany antics. Otherwise, it’s relegated to background status to add a bit of ambiance and nothing more. The source music used here does have a good presence, adding a bit of weight to the proceedings. Rears get minimal use here, chiming in with faint cues and effects that most won’t even notice. The disc also includes an English Descriptive Audio Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound track, as well as French & Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks. Subtitles are included in English for the hearing impaired and Spanish.
Extras
Surprisingly, there’s a lot here and it’s rather exhaustive. There’s an audio commentary, interviews, trailers, and a whole lot of deleted footage. DISC ONE: BLU-RAY There’s a lot of fun to be had with the film’s audio commentary, featuring director Andy Fickman and Billy Crystal. The two have some wonderful banter back and forth, very anecdotal and candid. Crystal is one of those actors many people just love to hear talk about his craft and his comedy, so this track is a must-listen for his fans. A ton of deleted scenes (1080p) are included, with optional audio commentary by director Andy Fickman. It’s interesting to see how many minor cuts were made that overall had a big impact on the picture. Here’s what’s included: - “Longer opening sequence” runs for 2 minutes and 8 seconds, featuring more of Crystal riffing at the game. - “Rise & Shine, Move Those Hineys” runs for 1 minute and 24 seconds, Alice wakes up the kids. - “We Could Always Call Your Parents” runs for 38 seconds, Phil makes a suggestion. - “That’s Not Our Bag” runs for 34 seconds, Artie grabs the wrong luggage. - “Leaving” runs for 33 seconds, Artie gets a tutorial on R-Life. - “He’s a Runner” runs for 53 seconds, Barker runs off in a restaurant. - “Morning Chaos” runs for 51 seconds, Artie struggles to make breakfast. - “Shopping” runs for 38 seconds, more of Midler doing her thing. - “Train Ride” runs for 45 seconds, the group takes a train to a concert. - “Race to the Symphony” runs for 39 seconds, the group gets lost. - “Longer Symphony Chase” runs for 2 minutes and 8 seconds, more of Artie chasing Barker. - “X-Games” runs for 1 minute and 9 seconds, extended footage of the audition for Artie. - “I Don’t Know Why People Say Golf is Boring” runs for 25 seconds, Alice & Phil make out. - “Waiting” runs for 47 seconds, the kids have to wait to watch TV. - “Pee Wee T-Ball” runs for 41 seconds, Artie calls the game. A gag reel (1080p) runs for 12 minutes and 48 seconds. “FXM Productions Presents: In Character with Billy Crystal, Bette Midler and Marisa Tomei” (480p) is a featurette that runs for 4 minutes and 53 seconds. The three actors talk about their respective roles in the film. The film’s theatrical trailer (1080p) runs for 2 minutes and 10 seconds. Bonus trailers (1080p) are included for the following Fox releases: - “Epic” runs for 1 minute and 47 seconds. - “Life of Pi” runs for 2 minutes and 23 seconds. - “Chasing Mavericks” runs for 2 minutes and 2 seconds. DISC TWO: DVD This is a DVD copy of the feature film. There is also a digital copy, redeemable with Ultraviolet services, included on an insert within the packaging.
Packaging
The two-disc set comes housed in a Blu-ray eco case, with each disc housed on a hub opposite the other. A slip-cover is included with first pressings.
Overall
“Parental Guidance” is innocuous, bland fun with a few golden moments thanks to Billy Crystal’s keen wit, but there’s little else to sustain interest. It probably holds more appeal to those who have reached grandparent age than anyone else, and even that group will probably find a good 50% of the jokes to be expected and lame.
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