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Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes (The) AKA The Beast with a Million Eyes
R2 - United Kingdom - Fabulous Films Review written by and copyright: Matthew Crossman (15th June 2016). |
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The Film
 On a solitary ranch somewhere in the Mid West of the United States of America are a small family. Allan Kelley ( Paul Birch) is the patriarch of the family and has been saving up the families money so that their teenage daughter, Sandy (Dona Cole) can go away to school. Allan's Wife Carol (Lorna Thayer) is bitter. Bitter, not so much at her daughter but at how Sandy is young and pretty, like she once was, and will have opportunities that were never afforded to herself. Later that same day there is a high pitched humming, something Carol thinks is a low flying fighter jet, that smashes all the windows in the house and all the glassware too. Carol telephones the Sheriff to complain but her complain is not really taken seriously. Meanwhile Sandy has taken herself off the a nearby lake for a swim but she is followed by the mute farmhand that lives with the family called Him (Leonard Taver). Him is called such because he is mute and has never been able to tell anyone his name. Him is a creepy character with a large indentation in his head and both Mother and Daughter of the Kelley family find him creepy. Later on Allan is attacked by blackbirds whilst out on the ranch and the family start to notice that all the wildlife around the area has started to behave strangely and attack human beings. Him then finds something strange out in the desert and all of a sudden the Kelley family find themselves under siege from something they do not quite understand. Let me preface my comments by stating that I absolutely adore science fiction films and especially those of the 1950's. I grew up watching the likes of “Them”, “Tarantula”, and “The Incredible Shrinking Man” on BBC 2 on the late night showings during the 1970's. Despite the hokey scripts and poor special effects these films were always, at the very least, fun meaning the viewer would be inclined to overlook the film's deficiencies. Sadly, in the case of 'The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes, there is almost nothing to recommend it. There is no saving grace of a good monster, even if briefly glimpse, no sterling acting performances, and no innovative script. Even at a scant 78 minutes the movie feels far too long. Let's start with the best part of the film and that is the script. The plot line is actually OK. An alien comes to Earth needing a human body and controls the beasts of the World to act against the humans in the story. Not too original but not too bad either. Unfortunately ever member of the cast delivers their lines as if reading them from the back of a cereal packet. The wooden performances are, by and large, pretty awful. The special effects are almost non existent mainly because there is pretty much nothing to see. A poor realised spaceship features in the opening narrative but other than that it's all pretty much what you would expect to see on a farm (actually, less). We get a few glimpses of the alien's spacecraft but it looks like a kettle. When the alien is finally shown on screen for a brief minute or two towards the end of the film it looks suspiciously like a hand puppet. It's so poor that the film makers have superimposed an eyeball of the top of the creature so you do not get a good look at it. It looks something like a cross between a cat and a bat and if you are really curious the DVD's menu provides a far clearer look of 'the beast' than anything glimpsed in the film. The entire film could have condensed into a 25 minute episode of the Twilight Zone (one of the bad episodes from season 5) but instead we get plenty of shots of 'Him' chopping wood, looking moody and eating his dinner in his shed with his wall plastered with 'cheesecake' picture of women behind him. The whole cast walks around in some sort of morose fugue and, quite frankly, I'm not surprised. Even when watching the worst of these sci-fi drive in movies I usually manage to find something to titillate me but this movie really is scraping the bottom of the barrel. If I had to find something kind to say about it I could mention the rather fetching outdoor shots of the groves but I really am grasping at straws.
Video
I have seen a couple of public domain DVD's of 'The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes' and this disc from Fabulous Films is probably the best I have seen but it does have it's faults. The film opens with a colour rendition of the MGM lion roaring away and then fades to a scratchy, grainy print. It's presented in it's original aspect ratio of 1.33:1 and under the, at times heavy, grain the picture is not too bad. The first reel suffers the most with countless instances of blemishes, dirt, and hair on the projector before settling down to a decent picture quality for the second reel. The grain and blemishes reappear for the final ten minutes however which is a shame. The black and white picture quality is a little on the soft side, especially during long shots, and the blacks never really get above a deep grey.
Audio
There are two options available in regards to the soundtrack. The original mono track and the Dolby Digital Stereo track. I have to say that there is barely a difference between the two. I suppose if pushed the stereo track is slightly more spread but the difference, if there really is one is minute. The disc does come with HoH subtitles and this is very welcome if no other reason than because the dubbing on the long shots in the opening 20 minutes is appalling with characters voices being heard despite the actors not actually moving their lips. This might not have been noticeable in a drive in during the film's initial release but on DVD it becomes embarrassingly obvious.
Extras
None.
Overall
All I really ask for in a 50's sci-fi movie is a decent monster and a little bit of suspense. Sadly the best thing about 'The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes' is the title even if it's a bit of a cheat (a voice over at the beginning of the film explains why the alien should be called The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes but I'm not buying it). The storyline, in more capable hands, might have actually worked but coupled with an inept cast, a Director with seemingly no interest in the finished project and a budget of, I would guess, £8.78 the movie limps along for it's 78 minute running time before finishing with a preachy moral of how love conquerors all. Avoid.
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