Martial Arts Madness Marathon:
KILL SQUAD (First viewing; YouTube) – 5.5/10
One of those 80's low budget B-movies I remember watching on VHS back in its glory days. All the cast are unknown except for Cameron Mitchell. A lot of the scenes in this hilariously bad American karate-fu flick make you howl, here are a few I have spotted:
1. Whenever the fighting kicks in, jazzy background music starts playing.
2. The blows and kicks all have “whack” and “yeow” sounds like those heard in badly dubbed kung fu films
3. There is one scene when one of the kill squad members is pushed by two goons from the roof of a four-storey building and falls dead on top of a parked car. When the goons reach said car to get rid of the body, it is missing. The man (who is supposed to be dead) suddenly appears unscathed and says “Looking for me?”
4. In every scene where one or more of the kill squad members get into trouble, the random people they meet seem to have an appetite for destruction, even the women. Everybody in this film is kung fu fighting!
5. The film climax has an utterly ridiculous twist!
6. During the final fight when the mysterious bad guy’s face is revealed, his face is shown black and blue and three of his teeth are impressed on his lips without any rhyme or reason. The problem is that these are done by bad make-up!
7. The one-liners and dialogues are equally bad. In one scene:
Joseph: I realize the police are not going to help. We gonna have to take these matters into our own hands. Assemble the squad.
Larry (Joseph’s best friend, chuckling): Alright, now you’re talking Joe…They owe you, I owe you. Hell, we all owe you!
And in every scene when each of the kill squad members is being summoned, this line is repeated: “Joseph needs you!”
It’s not on DVD yet, but it comes recommended to relieve your stress
RAW FORCE (First viewing; YouTube) – 3/10
Also known as KUNG FU CANNIBALS (1982), RAW FORCE is a weird wretched mishmash which also stars Cameron Mitchell. If KILL SQUAD has a thin plot, at least it is focused. This is even worse: it has elements of action, exploitation, kung fu, comedy and horror all thrown in. The film did not know what it wanted to be. You’ll see mad hooded devil priests sacrificing women flesh to resurrect dead Japanese warriors buried on an island, Japanese zombie warriors that attack and kill castaway tourists, a Hitler look-alike who sells prostitutes to the mad hooded priests, piranhas inhabiting the island waters (Hey, aren't piranhas living in rivers?), and our heroes – a group of martial arts students who fight the zombies. It’s a terrible mess. Not on DVD yet and not recommended at all.
L.A. STREETFIGHTERS (First viewing; YouTube) – 5.5/10
This 1985 production is also known as NINJA TURF but it’s misleading as there are no ninjas in it. I used to like it when I watched it as a teen because of the fight scenes. Two South Korean martial artists Jun Chong and Philip Rhee (BEST OF THE BEST) star. The best part of this action film is the fight scenes, which are pretty good. Not on DVD yet.